Over the last couple of years I’ve felt lost, unmotivated, terrified of the struggle. I’ve also experienced extreme loss and as a result I feel an overwhelming urge to find myself. I now know with absolute certainty that life is to be LIVED.
Until now I have been living the hand to mouth method that so many of us fall into. We tell ourselves, “that’s the way life is, you just have to work harder.” and yes you do have to work hard, but not necessarily harder. It just has to be the right thing that you are doing. “What is that then?” I hear you cry…
I don’t know.
But what I do know is I’m going to find it. I have never written a blog, never really used the Internet for much more than emails, until now. It occurs to me that if I’m going to find myself and indeed live my life, then it might help me to map my journey. I’m not a talker. That’s not necessarily true, but I’m not the type to keep a diary. I’m a doer, I have my very own shed full of tools, (that’s a fact) “There’s no time to write, there are things to be fixed, built, problem solved.”
My partner, on the other hand, is an Internet genius, through him I’ve discovered a digitally flat world and it now seems to me that anything is possible and everything is reachable. So what do I want to do…?
The way I see it, if I want the freedom to discover myself, then I must make changes to my life. Be the person I want to be, stop dreaming about it and do the thing i yearn to do. If it’s a new line of work, jump in with both feet and get involved! If i wanna go dancing, I’ll bop till I drop! I’ll join the Roller Derby, just you watch me. But if I want to do all those things, then I need to find a way to sustain a lifestyle that allows for a LIFE. So here I am documenting my journey on the Internet. No idea where I’m gonna end up and already the adventure has started…
Congratulations on your first post and your brilliant About page, my darling.
The only way is up, as a wise lady sang in the 80’s.
May this be the start of new chapter in a wonderful life, well-lived.
M xxx
Good for you… all journey’s start with one essential thing… the first step. i’ll be watching.. :-0)
Oh Annie,
Your writing moved me so much. I do understand so well, your great loss, feeling of lost, but life and excitement and striving inside.
Do not despair, despite of everything, the world is a wonderful place and if you are actively looking, you will find. The journey may well be long but you will make some positive trips to the side on the way. Some will be disappointing but some will fill you with joy and new horizons. As you travel your aims will change as you hone your ideas of what you want and who you can be.In some ways your last comment points to the hardest thing, finding a way to sustain LIFE without becoming the hamster. The money economy consumes all but we have to fight that and keep an eye on what out real path is ( even if we are not sure what it is).
I’m off to live in Shetland for 10 weeks, making quilts and felt and starting my book. Talking to sheep too. Visit if you’d like, I hope to see your dad on the way back.
You have the power!
Love,
Rosalind
Rosalind,
Thank you so much for your kind and inspiring message.
Yes do visit Dad I know he would welcome the visit. If you have trouble contacting him give me a shout.
We have the power!
lots of love
xx
Annie Celeste – you are my hero. Love love love.
Haha, thanks lovely.A pretty big leap into the internet world.
I hid under the duvet after I pushed publish 😉
Wonderful first blog Annie and the About page moved me to tears. I would like to subscribe so that’s your next step! The wonderful thing about blogging is that, if you write authentically as you are, you’ll never know what doors will open and who you will attract.
Thanks Nicola.
I don’t know how to be anything but honest. Gets me into trouble most places 😉
Adding a subscription tonight hopefully, will keep you posted.
Thank you for your support
Annie
If your About page is anything to go by you will be a fabulous blogger. Keep writing.
Thank you Marion.
The response has been amazing and inspiring.
Huge congratulations Annie, I love your blog, your writing is stunning and I wish you all the very best. I look forward to sharing the journey with you. You so deserve all the wonderful things that are out there waiting for you. Love and hugs, Penny xx