Taking A Leap

In my first blog I said that I was going to explore my options with the goal of ‘sustaining a lifestyle that allowed for a LIFE’.

Well this week I started something very exciting.

For the last 7 months, I have discovered just how difficult it has become to find work.

I had found cover for most of my freelance work for this year – I had no idea how long I would be in Scotland while my mother was ill – so not wanting to let anyone down I gave it ALL away.

When I returned in June, I was already struggling with the idea of going back to freelancing.

I had been given absolute proof that life was too short. If I was unhappy in my work then going back to it did not seem like a great idea, never mind the psychological state I was in at the time.

I therefore decided to just find myself a local job so I had the breathing space of money coming in to pay the rent while I figured things out.

I must have filled in on average 10-15 applications a day, I had given out so many CV’s I was starting to feel like I was flyering. Thats nearly 3,000 applications in the last 7 months! Can you guess how many responses I got?

Three!!

One was a complete hoax. It had seemed too good to be true but it was the first bite so I pursued it. I was so glad just to be possibly getting a job that when I realised it was a complete con, I fell to the floor.

The other two were for events and I had interviews for both, which went amazingly. I answered all their questions brilliantly. I’m usually one to come out of an interview over analysing every word but not this time.

I remember being quite surprised at my confidence coming out of the interview. I realised I had enjoyed confirming to myself that I knew what I was doing. If I chose to take these jobs and go back into the events world, I would be great at it. But I received no word from either.

There was mixture of despair and relief with both. I needed a job, but ultimately I would be prolonging my discomfort in an industry I was already pretty sure I was ready to leave.

What was I doing wrong?

I have great hospitality experience both in events and service but I couldn’t even get a bar job.

I have ridiculously extensive experience within theatre, music and outdoor events, but nobody wanted this Stage and Events Manager.

It was getting really hard not to take it personally.

Before Christmas I was reunited with some friends from my childhood, all of whom have moved down to London.

I was struggling to gear myself up to go. These were the It Girls of my early school days. One of them had been doing a PHD, one had just come back from travelling the world, the other settled in a job she was ecstatically happy with and loving life.

I was the dreading ‘So what are you up to these days?’

‘Well I’m currently unemployed, have been for almost 7 months and have no clue what I’m doing with the rest of my life!’ was not the answer I was looking forward to giving. So I gave the same answer I had rehearsed for such occasions. ‘Oh I’m still working in events, but exploring other options’ then hurriedly change the subject.

The only thing I knew for certain was I wanted to see the world, I wanted to Sing, I wanted to Join the Roller Derby. None of these are things I could afford to do or could help me afford to do them.

What was I going to do?

My partner (who I have mentioned is an Internet genius) works from home… on the Internet… obviously. It was him that taught me WordPress and how to build this blog.

In meeting him, I was reminded that life was to be enjoyed and perhaps I didn’t have to work myself into the ground to be able to enjoy it… at some point… in the far away future.

I guess in some way, we could say that this is all his fault. 😉 and for that I will be forever grateful.

He started building his business so that he would be free to do the things he wanted to do, while money was still coming in. He is very good at what he does and as a result, has built himself a reputation that has clients knocking on his door constantly.

The problem with this is there is only one of him and not enough hours in the day.

We got talking about it one day a few weeks ago. I could see how stressed he was but felt powerless to help him.

‘It was all meant to be so different’ He said to me. ‘I wasn’t meant to be the technician’.

That word ‘Technician’ sparked something.

Matt would never be able to do the things he wanted to do unless he found a way to step away from the day to day tasks.

He had mentioned before that perhaps there were things I could do for his business to help him and maybe earn a bit of money while I looked for a job.

The more we thought about it, the more it made sense.

Matt needed to start outsourcing some of the technical administrative things for his job. To do that he needs to create a system to train his outsourcers to work in. Something he had intended to do from the beginning was create training documents and videos as he went along. But it was all in his head.

I am a great believer in systems, I like to find the fastest, most efficient way to complete a task and repeat that practice and I’m bloody good at it.

Why not combine our collective genius?

Why not hire me as the technician?

I could learn a new skill!..Why not?

I could build his training for him and then we could bring in other outsourcers to do what I was doing… Why not?

Matt could focus on his clients needs and his team, managed by me, can take care of the rest…. Why not?

For the first time in I have no idea when, I wasn’t telling myself I didn’t want to do something, or couldn’t do something, I was ready to take the leap into something I knew virtually nothing about and why the hell not?!

OK, so I know nothing about Internet Advertising, Matt would have to teach me from scratch. But on the other hand, he gets to teach me the right way. The way that is proven to work.

The likelihood of Matt hiring anyone as Internet virgin as me is slim but all of his training material will be tried and tested from scratch to finish.

If we can make this work:

• Matt will then be free to look after his clients and himself. Pursue the things he has always dreamed of.
• I will be earning and problem-solving in a new and challenging way and I’ll have the freedom to pursue the things I have always dreamed of.
• Not to mention the fact that this frees us both up to do this anywhere in the world, (provided there is an Internet connection).

We could see the world. WHY NOT?!!

It was like something had switched inside. I was turned on to a new direction and I felt excited again.

We could sustain a lifestyle that allowed for a LIFE!!

Since we made the decision I have dived in with both feet and found that the statistics involved in Facebook Ads really appeals to my nerdy systematic brain. I get so excited about the spreadsheets I think Matt is a little scared, but still happy to have someone doing the job who actually enjoys it.

Its going to take some time for me to download all this information out of his brain and for him, this time is frustrating, but we both know it will pay off.

I went for dinner with some of the friends I was reunited with before Christmas this week too. To my surprise, I was not as alone in this feeling of ‘lost direction’ as I had assumed. One of them asked me ‘So what are you actually doing these days?’

At first I panicked, but then I thought about this blog and the plan Matt and I had put into action, and I decided to answer head on.

‘I’m not sure but I’m trying to figure it out’.

I told them about my loss of direction and struggle to find my way. I also told them about my blog and how it had help me begin to find my way, and that Matt and I had made a plan to work together. For me to help him expand the business and for me to learn new skills to perhaps build my own business with, maybe one day, who knows?

To my surprise the reason my friend had asked me so directly was that “I know exactly what you mean”. She had moved to London with her partner with a plan to move out of her line of work and look for something new. She was questioning her life decision just the way I had been!

Now I never thought that I was alone in what I have been feeling, but it shocked me that someone who I had observed to be as astute and driven as her, could identify with the lost feeling I had felt for so long.

What was an even bigger surprise to me was that I no longer felt like that. I had found a direction. It may not be the path I finish on, or it might be the decision that makes me, who knows. But I see now that I had focused on finding the answer to those last two options for way too long.

You just have to take the leap into something new and see what happens, how will you ever know otherwise? And you are guaranteed to learn something along the way.

So go on ….

Take A Flying Leap!

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